


The Dead

by amazingjemma



Series: The Cavalry and The Dead [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Battle of New York (Marvel), Bobbi Morse & Jemma Simmons Friendship, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 16:59:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14720039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amazingjemma/pseuds/amazingjemma
Summary: The greatest heroes do not hide their courage, the show it, they fight for it and sometimes, they die.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *updates this verse 84 years later* huh

Theoretically, Jemma knew that this war was coming. She thinks it should have happened earlier, but the time itself, as a concept, is quite strange. She knows this, after years of never-ending hell and terrifying dreams everytime she closed her eyes. What she also knows is that time doesn’t heal. Whoever came up with this concept is a fool but Jemma doesn’t blame them. Perhaps time heals those who deserve it.

 

The amount of guilt Jemma carries within her doesn’t go away even after her visit to her parents and not even when she retires and changes from tactical gear to blouses and paperwork. Though somehow she finds peace in a quiet and barely lit office where she works overtime just because she doesn’t want to come back to her empty and dark flat.

 

The last time she texted her husband was almost two years ago. They decided to take a break, with him being busy and working with the Avengers ( _ Jemma isn’t jealous; she is ridiculously proud of him for moving this far _ ) and her moving from the operative unit. Deep down she misses him –  _ terribly  _ – but this is for the best.

 

She doesn’t have time for this. They have the war to win.

 

She hates to be brought back in this, but they leave her no choice. Jemma asks them not to send her to the battlefield, considering what had happened, so they hire her as an administrator and take into account her every opinion. She is known as the cavalry among other agents, but no one dares to call her that.

 

Jemma Simmons is grateful for their understanding.

 

The board is not happy with the alien invasion –  _ of all things.  _ Jemma’s not surprised, though, because this is SHIELD.  They deal with far more ridiculous cases, but aliens are a whole new level of craziness. She briefly thinks of Fitz and how he deals with that; the feeling of proudness warms her chest as she rotates the wedding band on her finger.

 

She didn’t dare to remove it after so many years. A reminder that they are still  _ them _ , even though a little bit shattered. She can’t find the guts to come back to him because she’s damaged; she is a burden Leopold Fitz doesn’t need. Yet, she watches the recording of their wedding every night before she drifts off to sleep only to dream about his face, his hands and the depth of his blue eyes.

 

But the war doesn’t go away. There are more and more aliens coming from the hole in the sky and the Stark tower is about to be  _ destroyed.  _ Earth’s mighty heroes are trying their best but all their attempts seem to be in vain.

 

Jemma listens to the ideas her comrades suggest but none of them will stop this chaos. She is not sure if they can stop this at all but tries not to think about the consequences of the invasion just because the Asgardian God’s brother decided to choose Earth as his throne.

 

“Maybe we’ll just send the Cavalry,” someone says and Jemma glares at the younger consultant, who’s probably just graduated the Academy and knows nothing about disaster situations. He dares to chuckle and shrug as if it’s not a big deal. “Why not? She’s done this before.”

 

“How about we send  _ you _ , mastermind?” Jemma barks out and everyone in the room lowers their heads. “Let’s see if you are that brave in practice rather than in words.”

 

The younger man seems terrified enough, only now noticing Jemma Simmons sitting on the other side of the desk. She doesn’t have to threaten someone to make them fear her. There are many men who are afraid of her after hearing her name.

 

“Let’s just… concentrate on our task,” Maria Hill says calmly, and gives a warning glare towards the younger man. “We don’t have much time and we should come to any conclusion before this gets even worse. Fury sent me there to give him the results of our meeting. We haven’t lost much yet, but our main Helicarrier has been invaded…”

 

It doesn’t sound promising and Jemma starts worrying about this whole situation. She doesn’t really know where Fitz is and if he is safe and if they don’t come up with a decision, the war would be lost for them.

 

As if on cue, Hill suddenly goes blank and furrows her eyebrows, listening to whatever orders she’s given via trans-receiver and Jemma feels that something has happened. Who did they lose? What happened? Is the war over or should they surrender to whatever Asgardian trickster has invaded them?

 

The glass door of the office swings and Jemma turns around to meet Bobbi Morse’s eyes. Shouldn’t she be on the battlefield among others?

 

“Hill?” Bobbi breaths heavily looking at Maria but she shakes her head and once again, the blonde woman looks at Jemma. “Simmons… it’s Fitz.”

 

Jemma doesn’t need the details but her heart sinks at the mention of her husband. She tenses and almost forgets to breath as she hears the scariest part of this whole situation.

 

“He’s dead.”

 

_*** * *** _

Jemma wasn’t sure how she managed to keep breathing after this. She remembers Bobbi driving her to the hospital where Fitz was, she remembers her blonde friend telling her how he tried to stop Loki, playing a hero.  _ As always. _ Jemma knew that someday his stupid bravery would kill him but she was joking, of course.

 

The reality hits her when she’s standing in front of the door of the ward trying to get in, but Bobbi’s strong hands grabs her shoulders and pull back.

 

“No!” Jemma doesn’t care that there are agents looking at her, screaming and crying and trying to escape Mockingbird’s steel catch. “Let me in! What are they going to do with him?!”

 

 “Jemma, hey, listen to me.” Bobbi sits her on the nearest couch and cups her face, wiping her friend’s tears with a thumb. “They tried everything they could, but Fitz didn’t respond. The spear pierced his heart, and there was nothing they could do to fix it.”

 

All of this seems unreal and someone’s cruel joke. This whole damn invasion is someone’s cruel joke and Jemma feels as if her other half had died and she can barely function. Because this is the reality. She can’t live without him; she doesn’t know  _ how _ .

 

She’s glad Bobbi is here and doesn’t talk much about it. She doesn’t ask her ridiculous questions such as “are you alright?” and doesn’t try to reassure her that everything will be fine. Because she is  _ not alright _ . Because  _ it won’t _ . Not when her husband is dead.

 

When Bobbi gives her Fitz’s wedding ring, Jemma can’t help but let out a sob which turns into a wail. This ring is everything that Jemma has now, and as she feels Bobbi embracing her closely to her chest, Simmons breaks downs.

 

Eventually, they win the war but at what cost? This thought strikes Jemma on her husband’s funeral. She is numb and can’t move. She barely eats and spends the whole time in front of Leopold James Fitz’s grave. He was awarded, postmortem. Nick Fury expressed his condolences and even though it’s not enough, Jemma accepts them as it is.

 

She bends down on her knees only to be closer to him and even though her heart aches, she can’t go. She has learned to ignore Hunter and Bobbi’s presence a few feet away from her and she appreciates their patience.

 

She doesn’t know what to tell him because the words wouldn’t come out but Jemma knows he’s watching her. She thinks that maybe they’ll meet earlier on the other side, and this thought doesn’t scare her at all.


	2. Chapter 2

She asks them to give her a few more months, again. She feels broken and blames herself for being so weak but everything in SHIELD reminds her of him. She can’t work, can’t be trusted and can’t be a SHIELD agent. She purchases a small cottage in Scotland, only to escape the city’s pressure where everything reminds her of the war against bloody aliens.

 

She reports to Bobbi once in a week that she is okay and she is alive. She deals with depression surprisingly well; the silence of the cottage isn’t loud but calming. Bobbi asks if she needs anything but Jemma knows this trick. Her current location is classified and she doesn’t want anyone to know it for her own sake.

 

Sometimes, she works remotely if there is something they need from her. Jemma stays in touch with most of her colleagues but even they don’t have an access to her location. She can’t say she doesn’t trust them, but she wants to be alone, even for a few months to adjust to her new life as a widow.

 

 Evenings are her favourite, especially in Scotland. When the sun paints the skies beautiful shades of orange, Jemma finally finds her peace before preparing her final meal for the day and going to sleep.

 

She thinks Fitz would love this, where there’s no rush, no blood and gore, no aliens and superheroes. She is too young to be this tired and yet, here she is. She thinks of possible timelines where she and Fitz are still together. There’s no SHIELD, but if there is, they are not a part of it. No matter how much pain she got in the last few years, Jemma thinks that thanks to SHIELD, she met Fitz and found not her future husband, but also a best friend and a soulmate.

 

 Jemma thinks that Bobbi would be proud of her. She’s moving on despite the fact that her better half is buried six feet under, resting peacefully and not knowing that he is now declared to be the true Avenger. She eats and sleeps and learns how to be human again even though it’s not quite the same.

 

What Jemma doesn’t expect at odd hours, is a soft knock on the door. This can’t be Bobbi or Hunter. Hill would definitely contact her via email and the  superheroes that Leopold Fitz was familiar with don’t know about her existence. Putting the book down on the coffee table, Jemma grabs the gun under the blankets covering the couch and quietly approaches the door, ready to shoot whoever found out her location. She does not like the invasion of privacy.

 

Waiting a few more seconds, Jemma waits for another knock but it never comes. She thinks they might have left which is probably the wisest move. She doesn’t really have neighbours except a single dad with a lovely five-year-old baby girl and an old lady who once baked Jemma a delicious pudding.

 

Breathing out, Jemma relaxes a bit but still decides to check the perimeter just in case. When she opens the door, it feels like she’s been stabbed in the gut. Repeatedly.

 

 “Hello, Jemma.”

 

He looks the same, speaks the same and his eyes are still very much blue. He is smiling as if he is the sun itself and looks so  _ alive. _

 

“You… you are…”, Jemma feels panic rising in her chest and tries to keep breathing steadily but fails miserably. “You died,” she sobs and the gun falls loudly on the wooden floor, the only sound between them except her sobs.

 

“I can explain, okay?” He dares to take a few steps forward and into her cottage closing the door behind him. For the first time, Jemma feels anger. “Jemma… please,” he smiles with her favourite smile hoping it’ll warm her but instead, he could feel her radiate pure wrath.

 

“I buried you!” She shrieks and before Fitz can make any move, her shaky hands hit him in the chest so hard he had not to forget how to breathe again. “I buried you and grieved your death God knows how many months! They told me you were dead and they couldn’t do anything!”

 

“Jemma, please, calm down.” He tries to catch her hands whilst trying not to get injured. Fitz understands her rage, he was familiar with this feeling when he opened his eyes clearly remembering that his heart was pierced.

 

She yells not to tell her to calm down and, finding a moment between her furious attempts to fight him, he grabs her hands and clutches her to his chest, feeling her shaking and crying. Fitz whispers to her ear comforting words, that he is alive and he is here and it is  _ real.  _ They stand like that for ten minutes, waiting for Jemma to calm down and only then he pulls away from her and cups Jemma’s face.

 

Her eyes are red and puffy, lips trembling and hazel eyes full of terror. Fitz wipes her tears with his thumb and smiles sadly.

 

“I’m real, Jemma.” She sobs again and tilts her head, staring at the ocean of his eyes. “I’m here, Jem. I’m here.”

 Jemma slowly brings her hand to touch his skin, his exposed neck and his face making sure this is really her husband and not some robot SHIELD sent her as an apology for losing her spouse. He has the same nose, the same eyes and the same lips. Only now, Jemma realizes that this is one hundred percent is real. Because no one could duplicate her Fitz with his rough pads and this one birthmark on his cheek.

 

She puts her hands around his neck and finally –  _ finally –  _ kisses him with desperation and hunger she had for him. She had missed him so much and wouldn’t waste the opportunity to feel him again. He is very much real and it’s proved when he lifts her up only to carry to her small but cozy bedroom which she never hoped to share with him again.

 

It feels good to have his hands on her after years of anticipation and grieve. His kisses still drive her crazy and she craves more of him, eager to catch up with those times she couldn’t feel him. His stubble is itchy but his hair is fluffy and she can’t get enough of the sensation of his mouth on her body. She is on fire and if this is what death feels like, she is ready to die in his arms only to take him with her.

 

Even after they are done, she insists on him being on top so she could admire the features she’s missed so much. Fitz gently caresses her cheek while his lips leave feather like kisses on her forehead, her temple and her collarbone. Jemma allows her hands roam on his shoulders, his biceps and his back. She missed the intimacy of their moments and wasn’t planning on letting him go anytime soon.

 

She only remembers when her fingers trace the scar on his chest and she furrows her eyebrows. They didn’t talk much but she feels that they should clear the air between them.

 

“They told me you didn’t respond,” she says, her voice is slightly hoarse after their activities. “Told me they couldn’t do anything.”

 

“I don’t remember much.” Fitz moves slightly to adjust between Jemma’s thighs more comfortably. “I tried to stop Loki, made him angry and got my heart pierced. The last person I spoke to was Fury.”

 

“How did they… it’s impossible.” Jemma shakes her head and swallows, her fingers still caressing his scar. “They can’t bring you from the dead. Science isn’t that strong.”

 

“Does it really matter?” Fitz asks, a small smile on his lips which always managed to take her breath away. “I will tell you if I remember anything, I promise. But for now, I just want to be with you. I’ve missed you so much, Jemma.”

 

His confession leaves Jemma breathless and she cups his stubbled cheek to kiss him softly on the lips to remind once more to herself, than to him, that this is real. He smells like love and affection, and she wouldn’t give the world to lose him again.

 

“Don’t go,” she breathes out, burying her face in the crook of his neck bringing him closer. He smiles into her neck and breaths on her scent.

 

“Never,” he promises her and listens to her steady breathing with this one thought in his head.

 

_ Tahiti is a magical place. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* tahiti is a magical place.....

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to wonderful besidemethewholedamntime who offered to beta this fic. You should go read her fics, she is an incredible writer!  
> Kudos/comments/whatever are always more than appreciated.


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